This is for the people who are in the messy middle. When the tunnel is still long and dark, and you can only see a very faint flicker of light at the end.
I’m right here with you.
It is so incredibly hard. I feel like I’m drowning, but I can see the island just ahead. The heaviness is palpable. I’m trying so hard – every step forward, every decision, every choice – and yet the island doesn’t seem to get any closer. I’m just waiting. Still waiting.
If you’re in this too, you know exactly what I mean. You’ve been trying so hard. You’ve been waiting. And the spiritual space hasn’t given you permission to name it.
We don’t talk about this part. We see the manifesting success stories. The sold-out retreats. The “I quit my job and now I live on a hill” posts. But no one talks about the empty room on the full moon. The year you made a thousand dollars. The house that won’t sell. The vision that feels so close you can taste it, but you still can’t touch it.
We’ve sanitised the journey. We’ve made it look like a straight line. And when you’re in the messy middle, scrolling through everyone else’s highlight reel, you start to wonder if you’re doing it wrong. You’re not. You’re just in the part of the story no one posts about. I want to change that.
This is the work. What do you do? How do you hold space for yourself in the unknown? How do you create from the unknown? How do you keep going in the unknown? That’s the faith. That’s the integration. That’s trusting and believing in that little glimpse of light, that island ahead that you can see but not yet touch.
I’m in the messy middle, and I trust that I will get through this. How I’ve gotten through it is by holding the vision – not compromising on that vision. When something comes in and I find myself questioning or compromising, trying to convince myself that the square shape fits into the round hole, I know it’s a no. Every no is one step closer to your yes.
When I feel rushed, I pause and slow down. What is this urgency? Why do I feel like it has to be done yesterday? Instead of embracing the frantic, rushing energy, I do the opposite. I slow down and ask myself: what is one thing I could do today that will take me one step forward toward that dream, that vision I am holding?
I lean into my rituals. For me, these include walking in nature, moving my body at the gym or with yoga, setting intentions, and using the shower to wash away anything that no longer serves me. I meditate, tap through EFT sequences, create through art, watch my favourite movies, read a book, take a long hot bath, and connect with friends.
All of these activities feed my soul. They feed my creativity. They hold space for me. They show me that I am important, and I am worthy of slowing down and taking time for myself.
This is how I alchemise my pain. I don’t push it aside. I don’t ignore it. I don’t rush through it. I sit with my emotions. I sit with the feeling and listen to the story. What comes up for me? What is this trying to tell me? Why do I feel this way? What story am I telling myself? What system is running in the background? How does this relate to my human design and my birth chart?
By leaning into these rituals and learning more about myself – pulling back the layers of the onion to discover more of who I am – I am alchemising. This is the work.
So if you want to move forward in life, find your rituals. Find what feeds your soul. The examples above are what feed mine. Yours will be different. You need to peel back the layers of the onion – your soul, your systems, who you are and who you want to become. Because it’s just more of yourself. The dark corners of your psyche are just parts of yourself that you aren’t able or aren’t willing to look at right now. And when you are ready, you will peel back that layer and discover what’s underneath.
The beautiful thing is, it’s just a deeper understanding of who you already are.
I know it might feel really scary and exhausting, but you aren’t in this alone. We’re both on a journey of discovery, and the only thing on the other side is more of you – what gifts you have to offer the world and creating a life beyond your wildest dreams.
I hope this has helped or resonated in some way. The messy middle is overwhelming and abundant. It’s a great teacher, and a sacred space to dive into the depths of who you really are and who you want to become. And no one else can do that for you.
Are you brave enough to look underneath?
If this resonated and you’d like to explore what’s underneath together, I have space for you. Reach out – I’m always here to help in any way I can.
Know that you are not alone in this. I’m right here by your side.
The island is still there. I’m still here. We’re in this together.
Much love,
